A little bit of this..and a whole lot more of that

Life's been climbing a little this past week. I was on medical status the whole week and it was torturous. No, not the "sai kang" that we have to do but more of not being able to participate in all the activities. Missed out on speed training, which was what I was looking forward to. Anyway I'll be back in action from tomorrow so things will be better.

Cleaning the officers' bunks and all the random places around Tekong made me wonder what all this talk about having discipline is about. They drill it into out heads and with the ever-so-frequent stand by beds, you'd think that the commanders were clean freaks. But no, the moment you step into their toilet you see the irony of the whole situation. On one hand they drill into your heads the importance of cleanliness, but they themselves do not carry out the same level that they expect from us. But anyhoo, I'm probably not allowed to blog about army life. So moving on..

Was at the FaithActs fund-raising charity dinner yesterday. Went with my mom and Pat. Si Hao, Namie, Wira, Bo and Joel were there too. My dreaded song "Moment" won first prize for the songwriting competition. It's not that I'm not happy, but as a songwriter I feel that Moment gets more credit that it's due. Personally it's not the kind of song that I want to portray myself to be writing, because I'm not into the whole ballad thing. Sure I like the song in some ways, but I feel it's just not me. Listening to it, it sounds more Si Hao than me actually. But I guess people just like the simple stuff. No one appreciates the other songs that I write as much. Oh well, life's like that.

Somehow after finally moving on in life, things seem to be a little bit brighter. I can say I'm no longer in the dark gloomy place that I was in during the past 4 weeks, though no one probably noticed. Being in camp 5 out of 7 days is really very distancing, especially when you just live a very routine life doing the same things everyday. I won't say I'm a non-conformist, but I like to think. And when you're in the army sometimes you hear people saying "don't ask why, just do" and you think to yourself what kind of people don't like to think. And when you talk to everyone around you, you answer the question.

Also after watching Blueprint by RSD (thanks to Si Hao for reminding me), I'm kinda pumped to finally work on myself personality-wise. The whole series really opened my eyes to what I was doing and what kind of person I was, and that really helped me throw everything down and move on in life. I'm generally a very melancholic person, and I'm trying to throw that in favor of a much more sanguine temperament without losing the emotional, artsy side that makes me who I am. I'm an artist, but who says all artists have to be melancholic. To hell with all the emo stuff.

I also want to thank God for really helping me through it all, being there for me every step of the way. At certain points in life, things can really seem very depressing. But it's good to know that there's someone who's there for me, even though not physically but in spirit. I'm grateful that he's brought me to where I am standing today and I know he has a plan for me in the future.

PTL.