So lately I've been trying to incorporate some things into my life, though it's not easy but give me time. I've been watching a few videos on human interaction and social dynamics in an effort to be a better person and just understand how people interact, but more towards being a better person.
They say that in the army, you meet your best friends inside. But au contraire (french, yea!), I don't seem to meet anyone that I can really connect with. Of course, there are some good people, but then again there are some outrageous and atrocious people who are just out to make your life miserable. They seem to follow you everywhere and just keep trying to suck you into their negativity. As they say, misery loves company.
How I deal with it is simple, I don't let it affect me. It's not easy because sometimes the mind just keeps dwelling upon it. But I still push it aside and have my own fun. Ultimately, I don't let people's negative attitudes into my reality. As long as I don't react to them, it's fine. It's not that I ignore them totally, but just the negative aspects.
But it's not enough to do that, I realized that instead of not letting it in, I should counter negativity. And what else can do that but Love? So in addition I'm trying to love those who persecute me. It's easier than I imagined, especially when the "hate" is not there, since I no longer react to their negativity. It doesn't feel like I'm doing anything out of my nature. Love is perhaps the most powerful force in the world.
Even the slightest thing like smiling at them when they're giving you a death stare, or saying sorry when they intentionally bump into you can throw them off. They usually expect you to either react negatively or cower and avoid it, but when you stay grounded in yourself and stay grounded in Love, they don't expect it and somehow it wipes away whatever hate they have for you, if only for that instant.
But as I just started adopting this kind of living, it isn't yet part of my personality. But I hope in the years to come as I grow and mature in the Lord, he will instill this Love in me. The Bible says,
"If a man say, I love God, and hateth his brother, he is a liar: for he that loveth not his brother whom he hath seen, how can he love God whom he hath not seen?" - 1 John 4:20
What I also hope to change in me is my personal confidence, or core confidence. Learning to draw confidence from within me, and not from my situation is one of the hardest things to change in me but it's something I want to achieve. Core confidence in a sense that I don't look outward to the people around me or how I dress, etc in order for me to feel good about myself. But instead I feel confident because I love who I am, and I appreciate myself.
We all grow and mature and we move on in our lives. Some people just go with the flow and don't bother changing who they are, or becoming a better person. But Socrates said "An unexamined life is not worth living." And I believe in that, too. That's why I am constantly reviewing and examining where I am in life in order to become better than who I was yesterday. It's only how I live.
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Sunday, September 5, 2010
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